Ridiculous fashion scenario: Agent Zero

I decided to combine day 6^th’s May blog challenge prompt (I modified this prompt to: If you couldn’t answer to your current job, what else would you do?) with a ridiculous fashion scenario. My last ridiculous scenario was my zombie apocalypse outfit, which was super fun to put together! 

If I had to leave my current profession for whatever reason, I would pursue my ultimate dream job: to work for the Central Intelligence Agency. You must be thinking, SERIOUSLY?? And for those who know me at a personal level, you’re probably shaking your head right now. Yes I know, I would probably be the most worthless agent, but boy would it be awesome to work for the nation’s most elite national security intelligence agency. I’ve always had a fascination with spy stuff: intelligence gathering, black ops field operations, clandestine services, etc. Maybe I’m more interested in the idea of it, because I know this can be pretty dangerous stuff, and the lifestyle can be really difficult. I may also have to work a bit on my field skills. Just a little bit.

Reasons why I would make a good agent:

 1. Linguistics: I can speak fluent English and 3 dialects of Chinese, 4 if you count a tiny bit of Cantonese (I can say “I’ll kill you!”). I think this would come in very handy. Plus, I love languages. If I had the time, I would totally love to learn French, Japanese, Arabic, Italian and Spanish.

2. Unsuspecting: Seriously, who would ever suspect this innocent face?

3. Interrogation techniques: I would plan to interrogate my suspects with kindness. They would be thrown so off guard that they will tell me everything I need to know. I’m sure there are also some acupuncture spots I can use for “interrogation”

4. Fire-arms: I can use a gun and automatic rifle... not very well, and I’ve had a few embarrassing “accidents”, BUT I am sure this can be refined with practice.

5. Information/Intelligence gathering: Oh man, I am so good at this. Just give me wireless with access to facebook and google.

6. Master of disguise: Just give me a few wigs, some make up, a closet full of free clothes, and I can make myself look like Emma Watson to Kobe Bryant.

Even more reasons why I would make a TERRIBLE agent

1. I’m really clumsy

2. I’m actually scared of firearms

3. I’m physically very weak, with poor exercise tolerance

4. I’m a terrible liar- put me on the spot to lie about something simple, and I’ll start getting shifty-eyed, flushed faced and my bowels will start gurgling.

5. I am too compassionate: in the middle of an interrogation, I would probably end up feeling bad for the suspect/terrorist and set him/her free.

6. When I feel threatened, my natural response is to run away and cry. If you threaten me just a little bit more, I’ll spill all the beans on whatever you would like to know.

7. I may easily betray you. Or will I? 

My lucky suit (Banana Republic): This is the only full suit that I have and I refuse to get another one. I've had this suit for 6 years now. It has gotten me through residency and fellowship interviews. It will bring me luck as I fight terrorism for the CIA.

What other job would you do??

Sunny with a side of now has a facebook page! (On side bar, feel free to like)